Don't you hate those moments when you realize after agreeing to something, you've bitten off more then you can chew so to speak? I recently did just that.
I was speaking to someone at church the other day, feeling bad that they are having such trouble with their daycare provider. So I offered to be the back up some time and the next thing I know, I'm agreeing to watching their kids several days a week on TOP of an already busy planned summer.
So now I need to bite the bullet and get an already super tight schedule organized to add this new event in our lives. I pray that I made the right decision into agreeing to take on these two kids. They are around the same ages as my younger two boys. So we'll see how I will get this accomplished.
I'll be honest I'm super nervous about this, because with my ADHD I do things Awesome for about 2 weeks and then it all goes to hell. And I want to stay organized, and do a good job as a wife, mother and NOW a daycare mom.
I think I'm gonna try to spend the next few hours or days researching, planning and organising. I had planned to take my kids on to mini day field trips around our state of Minnesota. But also do a summer homeschool curriculum, I wonder how other moms balance the cleaning, the cooking, homeschooling AND making sure the kids enjoy their summer too?
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Chores
Wow. times have changed. When I was growing up, and for the generations before mine, chores were expected. That's just what was done to help the family function. And I'm only in my mid 30's. But now days you mention that you give your child chores and you hear GASP!!! "Kids need to be kids", "Kids aren't your personal slaves", "You are a lazy parent". Can you picture my eyes rolling?
I mean yes, just like everything else in life, people can and do go overboard, take advantage of a situation and the negative list goes on. But I'm not talking about giving kids so many chores they don't have time to be kids, I'm talking about teaching them the skills as they grow so they can be responsible, productive adults. Here's a secret that EVERY mother knows, but we don't want to acknowledge: Our kids, eventually they grow up. Take a moment and take that in. It's hard to believe even for me. I look over at my youngest who recently turned 3, look at my oldest who will be turning 16 later this year and wonder where did all this time go? Regardless if we want our kids to grow or not, time has taken that option from us. But with our kids growing that means we are growing OLDER (gulp!)too. We all know that eventually we will not be here anymore for our kids. For some parents they will sadly not live to see their kids become adults, and others are blessed to see that occur. But it's our job as parents to not only enjoy every moment, BUT also teach them the skills as they grow so that it enables them to be successful adults. You can't teach them these skills over night. Trust me. My mother tried. lol. And it didn't work out so well.
Some of these chores and tasks aren't really that horrible when they are done at right time. When is the right time you may ask? That is for you to honestly decide when looking at your child and his/her abilities. I mean we need to be realistic, there is a reason why kids aren't allowed to make legal decisions, so make sure the chores/tasks you give them are realistic. I wouldn't expect a 3yr old to open up an oven and place dinner in it, but helping add the ingredients that are you measure out, or cut up first? why not. You are starting to help instill a love for cooking early on. Why can't a 6yr old help take out the garbage? There is nothing wrong with a 6yr or younger helping with garbage and recycling if you recycle. Why can't your kids help with laundry? Teaching them to help you sort the laundry, helps them with colors, sorting, matching and etc. Why can't 12+yrs old cut the grass? Why can't a 15yr old help clean out bathrooms? All these tasks and much more are things they will need to know when they are out on their own. There is nothing slavish about it.
My husband and I have a different views on the subject of chores. He feels that kids should be given chores and they are to do them on their own. I agree and disagree. Some chores, yes they should be able to do on their own: cleaning their room, set and clear the table, sweep/mopping the floors...that sore of thing. But the bigger stuff, honestly I like being with them and all of us doing the chores together. My favorite saying is" Many hands make light work", meaning the more hands that do that job, the quicker it gets done, the quicker we can get to playing. Plus as our kids get older, I'm seeing they really don't have "time" for mom and dad. They would rather be with their friends, so when we do some of the larger chores together, it's away to stay connected with my kids, stay in touch with them. Plus I don't mind sharing the load so to speak. When our kids do yard work, many times you will find me out there doing yard work with them, or have already done my share of the work: raking, shoveling, weeding, mowing. I love doing dishes by hand with each one of my children. It gives me time to chat with them one on one. My oldest doesn't see it right now as quality time, but for me it is. We are getting a task done, but I'm getting to enjoy the company of one of my kids (I get to hog their attention. lol.)
There are wonderful lists out there of chores and ages. Again remember to take your individual child and his/her abilities(or disabilities) in mind as well.
http://housekeeping.about.com/od/chorechart1/a/ageapprchores.htm
http://chorecharts.com/
http://www.freeprintablebehaviorcharts.com/chore_list.htm
http://parentingteens.about.com/od/chores/a/Chores-List-Kids-Teens.htm
http://cleaning.lovetoknow.com/Household_Chore_List
This seems like a really cool site that helps you set it up.
http://myjobchart.com/
I mean yes, just like everything else in life, people can and do go overboard, take advantage of a situation and the negative list goes on. But I'm not talking about giving kids so many chores they don't have time to be kids, I'm talking about teaching them the skills as they grow so they can be responsible, productive adults. Here's a secret that EVERY mother knows, but we don't want to acknowledge: Our kids, eventually they grow up. Take a moment and take that in. It's hard to believe even for me. I look over at my youngest who recently turned 3, look at my oldest who will be turning 16 later this year and wonder where did all this time go? Regardless if we want our kids to grow or not, time has taken that option from us. But with our kids growing that means we are growing OLDER (gulp!)too. We all know that eventually we will not be here anymore for our kids. For some parents they will sadly not live to see their kids become adults, and others are blessed to see that occur. But it's our job as parents to not only enjoy every moment, BUT also teach them the skills as they grow so that it enables them to be successful adults. You can't teach them these skills over night. Trust me. My mother tried. lol. And it didn't work out so well.
Some of these chores and tasks aren't really that horrible when they are done at right time. When is the right time you may ask? That is for you to honestly decide when looking at your child and his/her abilities. I mean we need to be realistic, there is a reason why kids aren't allowed to make legal decisions, so make sure the chores/tasks you give them are realistic. I wouldn't expect a 3yr old to open up an oven and place dinner in it, but helping add the ingredients that are you measure out, or cut up first? why not. You are starting to help instill a love for cooking early on. Why can't a 6yr old help take out the garbage? There is nothing wrong with a 6yr or younger helping with garbage and recycling if you recycle. Why can't your kids help with laundry? Teaching them to help you sort the laundry, helps them with colors, sorting, matching and etc. Why can't 12+yrs old cut the grass? Why can't a 15yr old help clean out bathrooms? All these tasks and much more are things they will need to know when they are out on their own. There is nothing slavish about it.
My husband and I have a different views on the subject of chores. He feels that kids should be given chores and they are to do them on their own. I agree and disagree. Some chores, yes they should be able to do on their own: cleaning their room, set and clear the table, sweep/mopping the floors...that sore of thing. But the bigger stuff, honestly I like being with them and all of us doing the chores together. My favorite saying is" Many hands make light work", meaning the more hands that do that job, the quicker it gets done, the quicker we can get to playing. Plus as our kids get older, I'm seeing they really don't have "time" for mom and dad. They would rather be with their friends, so when we do some of the larger chores together, it's away to stay connected with my kids, stay in touch with them. Plus I don't mind sharing the load so to speak. When our kids do yard work, many times you will find me out there doing yard work with them, or have already done my share of the work: raking, shoveling, weeding, mowing. I love doing dishes by hand with each one of my children. It gives me time to chat with them one on one. My oldest doesn't see it right now as quality time, but for me it is. We are getting a task done, but I'm getting to enjoy the company of one of my kids (I get to hog their attention. lol.)
There are wonderful lists out there of chores and ages. Again remember to take your individual child and his/her abilities(or disabilities) in mind as well.
http://housekeeping.about.com/od/chorechart1/a/ageapprchores.htm
http://chorecharts.com/
http://www.freeprintablebehaviorcharts.com/chore_list.htm
http://parentingteens.about.com/od/chores/a/Chores-List-Kids-Teens.htm
http://cleaning.lovetoknow.com/Household_Chore_List
This seems like a really cool site that helps you set it up.
http://myjobchart.com/
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Opening post
I always knew that I wanted a large family. I grew up as an only child of single mom. Life was normal, we had good times and bad times, but I grew up being lonely. I loved being at my friends' homes - all but one had siblings. I loved the noise, the love, the closeness and the list could go on. Yes I had my mother's undivided attention, but I was still lonely. Also when my mother had health issues I discovered another icky part of being an only child...there is NO one else to carry the burden of medical decisions. No one to really talk it thru. I hated that I was the only one that could really make these decisions for my mom, I hate that I had no one to really lean on or talk it thru. 3 years ago this month my father in law had a massive heart attack, that resulted in a quad -heart bypass. Watching how his mom had my husband and his two siblings to lean on was amazing.
Don't get me wrong there are negative sides of having siblings too. I have seen that thru the years how siblings can be vicious, fighting, mean and etc. And at those times I'm so glad I'm an only child not to have to see that.
So I am blessed that God has blessed my 4 children with each other. At times - I have wondered if it was a good thing or not due to the age difference, and various needs of my 4 kids, but then God gives me that special glimpse of the loving bond between then, and then I think "oh yeah, this was the right thing to do."
Don't get me wrong there are negative sides of having siblings too. I have seen that thru the years how siblings can be vicious, fighting, mean and etc. And at those times I'm so glad I'm an only child not to have to see that.
So I am blessed that God has blessed my 4 children with each other. At times - I have wondered if it was a good thing or not due to the age difference, and various needs of my 4 kids, but then God gives me that special glimpse of the loving bond between then, and then I think "oh yeah, this was the right thing to do."
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