Wow. times have changed. When I was growing up, and for the generations before mine, chores were expected. That's just what was done to help the family function. And I'm only in my mid 30's. But now days you mention that you give your child chores and you hear GASP!!! "Kids need to be kids", "Kids aren't your personal slaves", "You are a lazy parent". Can you picture my eyes rolling?
I mean yes, just like everything else in life, people can and do go overboard, take advantage of a situation and the negative list goes on. But I'm not talking about giving kids so many chores they don't have time to be kids, I'm talking about teaching them the skills as they grow so they can be responsible, productive adults. Here's a secret that EVERY mother knows, but we don't want to acknowledge: Our kids, eventually they grow up. Take a moment and take that in. It's hard to believe even for me. I look over at my youngest who recently turned 3, look at my oldest who will be turning 16 later this year and wonder where did all this time go? Regardless if we want our kids to grow or not, time has taken that option from us. But with our kids growing that means we are growing OLDER (gulp!)too. We all know that eventually we will not be here anymore for our kids. For some parents they will sadly not live to see their kids become adults, and others are blessed to see that occur. But it's our job as parents to not only enjoy every moment, BUT also teach them the skills as they grow so that it enables them to be successful adults. You can't teach them these skills over night. Trust me. My mother tried. lol. And it didn't work out so well.
Some of these chores and tasks aren't really that horrible when they are done at right time. When is the right time you may ask? That is for you to honestly decide when looking at your child and his/her abilities. I mean we need to be realistic, there is a reason why kids aren't allowed to make legal decisions, so make sure the chores/tasks you give them are realistic. I wouldn't expect a 3yr old to open up an oven and place dinner in it, but helping add the ingredients that are you measure out, or cut up first? why not. You are starting to help instill a love for cooking early on. Why can't a 6yr old help take out the garbage? There is nothing wrong with a 6yr or younger helping with garbage and recycling if you recycle. Why can't your kids help with laundry? Teaching them to help you sort the laundry, helps them with colors, sorting, matching and etc. Why can't 12+yrs old cut the grass? Why can't a 15yr old help clean out bathrooms? All these tasks and much more are things they will need to know when they are out on their own. There is nothing slavish about it.
My husband and I have a different views on the subject of chores. He feels that kids should be given chores and they are to do them on their own. I agree and disagree. Some chores, yes they should be able to do on their own: cleaning their room, set and clear the table, sweep/mopping the floors...that sore of thing. But the bigger stuff, honestly I like being with them and all of us doing the chores together. My favorite saying is" Many hands make light work", meaning the more hands that do that job, the quicker it gets done, the quicker we can get to playing. Plus as our kids get older, I'm seeing they really don't have "time" for mom and dad. They would rather be with their friends, so when we do some of the larger chores together, it's away to stay connected with my kids, stay in touch with them. Plus I don't mind sharing the load so to speak. When our kids do yard work, many times you will find me out there doing yard work with them, or have already done my share of the work: raking, shoveling, weeding, mowing. I love doing dishes by hand with each one of my children. It gives me time to chat with them one on one. My oldest doesn't see it right now as quality time, but for me it is. We are getting a task done, but I'm getting to enjoy the company of one of my kids (I get to hog their attention. lol.)
There are wonderful lists out there of chores and ages. Again remember to take your individual child and his/her abilities(or disabilities) in mind as well.
http://housekeeping.about.com/od/chorechart1/a/ageapprchores.htm
http://chorecharts.com/
http://www.freeprintablebehaviorcharts.com/chore_list.htm
http://parentingteens.about.com/od/chores/a/Chores-List-Kids-Teens.htm
http://cleaning.lovetoknow.com/Household_Chore_List
This seems like a really cool site that helps you set it up.
http://myjobchart.com/
